The Fate I Couldn't Escape

All the signs were there that day…

I wish I had seen them but, instead, I fell for all of them.

It was the third day of grade nine and with my sister doing Co-op at the mall I knew I had to get on the bus before it was filled to the brim with sweaty teenagers. My teacher had let my class out early this day and so I was able to skip the rush to the bus and make my way to the buses lined up right behind the school. Once I got onto the bus, I collapsed into one of the many empty seats and let out a sigh of relief.

“Yes.” I thought to myself sitting there in my seat. Flipping my backpack onto my lap, I took a look into my bag to find my house key. As I shifted the insides of my bag around, it had dawned on me that I had left my key on the hook that morning. That was when I heard the school bell ring in the distance. I knew that I had two options right there. I could either go home and wait another hour until my mom got home from work or I could get off the bus, get to my sister’s locker, get her key and get back on the bus right before the bus left school. I weighed my options and consciously decided to get off the bus and find my sister within 15 minutes. That was my first warning… Slinging the strap over my shoulder, I hopped off the bus and began to run.

15 minutes… I had 15 minutes.

Since the bell had rung, I saw crowds of kids leaving the school. Loads of them shuffled towards the buses while others began their walks home. The heat beat down on my face as I ran from the school parking lot to the school.

As I ran inside I ran into some of my sister's friends. I asked them if they saw my sister and they told me she’d probably be at her locker at the front of the school. I continued my way through the school and then I ran into my best friend. She asked me why I was rushing. I told her that I had left my key at home and I was looking for my sister. She told me to forget about my sister and come with her home. My mom could just pick me up from her house instead.

I told her no. I knew my sister had co-op after school and I didn’t want her to be worried because I wasn’t home. I told her I had to find my sister, get the key and go home. After finally taking no as an answer, I said goodbye and continued to look for my sister. This was my second warning. I finally found my sister, got the key from her and ran back to the bus.

This was when my destiny was finally set in motion. When I got onto the bus, it was just seconds away from pulling off. Getting on, I stared at the ocean of white shirts, navy blue shorts and pleated kilts. The bus smelled like body odour and teenage angst that had been roasted alive in the summer sun. I swallowed my pride with the key in hand and began swimming through the sticky bodies until I got close enough to the back door of the bus. I grabbed onto one of the yellow bars and felt as the bus took off. I stood there body-to-body with all the other students. That's when I made eye contact with him… Jameel. A boy I knew all too well. Last year he went to the public school next to my catholic school and since we shared the same bus route, we also shared the same yellow bus. Now we were in high school and now we shared the same Durham Transit Charter bus home.

His eyes bored into mine. Though the bus was filled with loud noises and smells... when we made eye contact, it felt like we were in a western show in an empty ghost town. Rolling my eyes, I turned my head and ignored him for the duration of my ride.

As the bus drew to a halt, I stumbled back against the guy who was closely pushed against me. A jolt of disgust bolted through me. The smells were horrendous and now my body was pressed against some tall sweaty dude who was in desperate need of a shower. Fixing my backpack straps, I turned my head and there was Jameal once again. Our gazes locked once more. My hatred for him was as hot as the summer and burned brighter than the sun chasing the bus. Breaking the stare-off, I pushed past him and a few others on the crowded bus to the back doors.

Here’s a history lesson for those who don’t know: back then DRT buses used to have a large handrail that separated the back left and right doors.

Standing right by the front of the left door, I waited for it to open but it never did. Instead, I watched as just the right door opened and now I was stuck on the left side trying to figure out how to get off because there were more than 20 people between me and the other side of the door.

"Wait the door is still closed, I can't get out!" I yelled. I looked up and saw the large mirror by the driver and watched him shrug. Unable to move I began to hit the door and scream. Seconds later the other students began to complain as well.

"She can't get off! The door won't open!"

After a minute of the bus causing a commotion. Yelling and screaming, trying to get me off the bus. The bus driver prepared to move on. I knew I didn’t have much time left before he shut the doors. In my head I knew that I could have gotten off at the next stop but, to be honest, I had never taken the bus except for the last three days of school, so I didn’t know where the next stop would be. This was my third sign. Looking over my shoulder I saw Jameal watching me with his arms folded over his puffed-out chest and a devious smile crossing his lips. He looked as if he had won. That he had finally humiliated me and that this would be my legacy of high school. The girl who caused a commotion on the bus because she was stuck. I was not going to have that. Not one bit. I grit back my anger as he watched me struggle. From there my body began to heat up. My panic and fear turned into adrenaline and I felt like a can of soda that was shaken up and ready to explode.

"You know what? I've had enough of this." I mumbled under my breath. If no one was going to save me, I might as well save my damn self. Shooting him back an equally devious smile, I grabbed the yellow pole, hooked my foot on the bottom part of the rail and in one swift movement I hopped over the rail and firmly landed on the other side. Everyone in the back who had witnessed my jump gasped in shock and awe.

"Whoa!!!" a kid yelled out

"She's a G," Someone else said.

Fixing the straps on my shoulders once again, I could feel the adrenaline and rage evaporating into thin air as I could feel myself begin to glow. I felt amazing.

Quickly fixing the bottom of my kilt a huge grin danced across my face and taking one more look over my shoulder I saw Jameal staring at me. His facial expression and body position changed. His shoulders dropped, his mouth was slacked jawed and his eyes were no longer gleaming with petty anger but instead in complete shock. Straightening my stance, I flipped him off before strutting off of the bus. Finally, off the bus, I was now feeling relaxed and confident. The hot sun beat down on my face and the thick air let through a gentle summer breeze that was rather … Refreshing.

“That was so sick!”' I said to myself as I walked down the side of the bus. The amount of confidence that poured off of me felt empowering. All my life until then people thought I was quiet and nerdy. My friends thought I was a bit uptight while my older sister was the cool laid laid-back one. This was the first time that I would no longer be “Cassesha’s little sister.” I was about to create a legacy for myself and it was exciting. With the way I felt, I knew that this year was going to be awesome.

Once I approached the street side, I looked both ways and with a spring in my step, I decided to cross. I had just left a huge impression in the minds of a whole bunch of people. Maybe tomorrow people will be talking about it? Maybe even talking about me? I didn’t know what was to come of this but I knew that I had the whole year ahead of me.

"This is going to be a good year"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I woke up with a pounding headache, a ringing in my ears and a blinding light flashing over me. I thought I had fallen asleep at the front door but that could not be further from the truth.

"She's awake!" Someone called out, as I sat up slightly. My eyes darted around, trying to figure out what was going on. My eyes settled on the person who was standing right in front of me. Her eyes were filled with tears and halfway through an emotional breakdown. Her short black hair, brilliant brown eyes and her black shirt with the name of her company printed across it.

"Mom...?" I muttered. When she heard my voice, we made eye contact before tears stained her cheeks, while she trembled in place with her eyes so filled with pain.

"Hi, mom." My voice was weak and so was my body but I held out my hand for her either way. I watched as her eyes widened open larger than anything I've ever seen before and for the first time in my life I watched as she passed out. With my body feeling tired and vision beginning to fade, I felt myself drifting off to sleep again.

"Someone keep her awake!" I heard someone else yell out. "Cassidy, you're going to be okay,"

"How many fingers am I holding up" another shouted

I could feel my eyes closing. I tried my hardest to keep them open but I had no energy in me and each time I forced them open, it felt like it was a strain on my body. My blurred vision began to fill with dark spots and eventually, it turned back to black. Though my eyes were closed, I could still hear everything around me. I heard footsteps rushing around my body, while the people around me kept talking in loud and concentrated voices. I even felt a presence standing over me, snapping their fingers and clapping right over my face.

“Keep her awake.” A female voice yelled out.

It felt so chaotic and with the inability to see I just laid there trying to gather my strength. With only one question roaming around in my mind.

What in the world happened to me?

"Cassidy..." My eyes lifted slowly and looked up to see my older sister looking down at me with tears slowly filling her eyes and a small smile on her face, yet her eyes were filled with worry.

"Spanks"

"Seesha?" She took my hand as she stood over the bed I was laying in.

"W-what are you doing here? Where am I?"

Her smile faded as she held my hand.

"You're in the hospital baby... I brought a surprise for you” Taking a look behind her I saw two of her friends standing at the doorway, one of them being her best guy friend Tyler. He was a tall white guy who always had a kind smile on his face. In some ways, he was like an older brother to me and it was really nice to see him in a moment like this.

"Hey Cass," He said with a soft voice. Tears slowly filled his eyes as he looked down at me.

"Hi, Tyler'' My voice was raspy as I said hi back. Though this was a nice surprise I was still confused about what was happening. Like what was happening and why in the world was I in what seemed to be a hospital. I felt so incredibly exhausted and my body felt so sore. At this point, all I really wanted were some answers and my teddy bear. His smile wiped off his face and the air turned completely silent. I could tell that something was wrong and if it wasn’t obvious already… I did not make it home that day.

"Cassidy, you were in an accident today."

My body went numb. An accident? What type of accident. The last thing I could remember was that I hopped over a rail and sashayed off of the bus like a badass. How did I get into an accident? My brain began to spiral.

I felt so scared.

So alone.

I couldn’t feel my body.

I was so tired.

All I could feel was fear.

All I could feel was pain.

So now I knew one thing. I had been in an accident but I still had so many unanswered questions swirling through my mind. What type of accident? Was anything broken? Was I going to die? Where was mom? Where was dad? Why didn’t I go home with my friends? Why did I have to get the key? Why didn’t I just wait for the next stop? Was it all my fault? Why did I deserve to live?

What happened to me?